Ironman 70.3 Lanzarote 2013, almost too hot to handle! – Dazz Hughes
First off – I think everyone will agree with me on this one. I wish Karl Gohery a speedy and successful return to full health. Dude was lucky he wasn’t killed, turns out he’s not a pussy after all!! Karl is one of the nut-job characters in this club, of which we have many!! I’ve never seen someone with their legs in bits in a wheelchair with such a big smile on their face! Im sure the nurses were like,”who/what is this guy??” Simple answer – He’s a triathlete. We’re tough as shit!
Get back soon Karl, I’m not funny enough for the both of us !;)
So the idea of doing Lanza started back in April/May. I was going away travelling for 2 months with a few mates and I needed something to give me a kick in the arse when I got back, expectedly unfit from having the best holiday experience of my life,and sampling a lot of the local hooch 😉 But it was worth it. So that left me roughly 10 weeks to do what I could to prepare for one of the hardest, hottest and hilliest 70.3 courses around. The last time I did a triathlon was September 2011, and that was a sprint…..I’ll be grand 🙂
Training was hell in July, realised that I’d seriously punished my body in Central America, but no regrets, just a serious hunger to get fit and do it fast! I have to say the stories of everyone in Pulse racing, the ironman crews, people kicking it on the National Series scene, coaching the newbies and just shooting the breeze listening to everyone’s stories gave me massive motivation to get my finger out! I’ve been in this club longer than most and the constant jibes of “dazzler ye fat bastard when are you making your comeback” and ” oh ye? You get in the pool and show me then!” all made me look forward to getting back out there. Best group of people around, we have it all. Pulse you Rock!
Training was progressing nicely towards early August, won 2 medals at World Police and Fire Games in Belfast mid August, so I was going alright. My running was the best it’s been in a while which was awesome, and injury free! I even cameo’d as Ace Frehley from KISS for the Rock and Roll Dublin Half Marathon! And who else to get a savage photo of me jumping 4 feet in the air holding an inflatable guitar at 11 miles with everyone around me thinking this guy is tapped, Karl Gohery!! Here’s an idea for the club next year, lets all do this race fancy dress, I’ll lead the way, such a laugh!!!
Followed this up with a win at the Garda and PSNI Triathlon Champs, just off my record on a longer course on a very windy day. All positive.
With the extra running I was doing my back started giving me trouble all through September, even this week, race week, I’m in pain. Massages and physio have helped (cheers Lynn) but it’s too late now to make any difference, I’ll deal with it. Pain lets you know you’re alive! I’ve invested too much into what has turned out to be the most expensive race of my life!!
I haven’t raced in 2 years so I had no gear left. The gear I had was dumped at the end of the 2011 season, it was well used and the smell from my bike shoes was enough to incur a stop/go, change your shoes mate – penalty!!
Just to put it into perspective how much gear we use in this crazy awesome sport, here’s the list of kit I had to get, all of it new:
Bike shoes, race runners (cheers Robbo), Tri shorts, Tri top, aero helmet, oakleys (because I lost my other pair when I had a few too many sherries!!) new saddle, aero bottle, new tubs for the zipps, new cassette, aero food bag, all the nutrition stuff, hat for the run leg, pink race belt (Kim Hickeys lucky one!!) and a few other bits n bobs. I haven’t added it all up cause it will probably make me cry! Better than pissing it against a wall I always say!
Bags and bike packed, bike box brimmed with everything, nice to get one over on Ryanair. I can’t resist the following rant 😉
Ryanair flight, €7.50 for wrap and tea.
Without a doubt the most disgusting thing I’ve ever eaten! When I was young, me mam would tell me there’s “too many E numbers in those (usually skittles) they’ll drive you mad! This”wrap” had
more E’s than a Swedish house mafia gig, 13 FFS!!!
By the end of the flight I was bowling using empty Heineken cans and an orange with a group of 14 rough oul ones from the midlands on a girls trip. I even joined in on their version of Def Leppards “Pour Some Sugar On Me!!!” Seriously rough…….
Anyone experienced that country taxi/bus that picks every last drunk up at the end of the night in back arse of nowhere towns and drops everyone home because there are no proper taxis or buses? Ye?
That’s Ryanair. Packed, uncomfortable, guaranteed to be a memorable journey and in my case, full of oul ones and one in particular who put her hand discreetly on my seat as I sat down and then gave me a wink. The Low Fares Airline – Bargain.
Lanzarote – haven’t been here since 2007, seems like longer. Fond memories of epic days on the bike with Salt and Pepper (the Bolgers), Casso and the Dowling lad; and run week with Sportsworld in 2007.
Wednesday night was the usual build the bike before you do anything! Out for grub with Niall and Sinead. Awesome sleep.
Thursday: out on the bike with Niall to make sure our noble steeds were firing on all cylinders, took about a half hour to get used to the heat but it wasn’t so bad. Took the GoPro along and got some cool action shots 🙂
Climbs everywhere!!! But the downhills were awesome, I ran out of gears at 70kmh+ made me think I should have brought a 54, too late now!
Après siesta went for a 5km trot to see how the back is, haven’t ran in about 12 days. Little numb but I’ll take that. Out for grub with more of the Pulse crew Marc and Karen.
All going well, bring on Saturday.
Friday:
Pack everything for transition and catch the bus to La Santa. It’s getting close, the buzz is starting to build 🙂 The bus arrived to pick us up along with the transport for the bikes. Little apprehensive about putting the most expensive thing I own, my bike, into a flatbed bin truck!!! But it was full of duvets to keep them from getting damaged! Only in Lanza 🙂
The girl who was checking us in on the bus (fit!!!) commented that she’d never seen legs as white as mine. I said remember these, they’ll be the ones doing loops of the dance floor on Saturday night!
Club La Santa, for those who have never been, is a fitness/sports mecca for athletes! It has everything. The usual attire is spandex, speedos and the motto is less is best (not complaining!!) it’s one of the only places where you walk by an oul lad in tight budgie smugglers and don’t even bat an eye lid, it’s the norm.
The whole set up for the Tri here is awesome. We checked in our bikes, transition bags, re-checked everything and headed to the pool for a dip. Brought the GoPro for the craic, should be some cracking clips of me Niall and Marc!
Pasta party was some feed. My favourite part of the week so far 🙂 Stuffed to the gills with the sun setting beside us over looking the pool, this is living! This time tomorrow will be less civilised.
Caught the bus back to Carmen, final checks of all the gear. Bed early, this is it. One more sleep and the real fun starts. Feeling good, back is holding up. Thought I’d sleep better but I was still awake at 2am with every possible race scenario going through my head! I’d slept well the previous 2 nights so wasn’t worried about it.
Race day: up at 5am for Karen to make two attempts at cooking me and Mark porridge 😉 rocking out to AC/DC, Thin Lizzy and Whitesnake is how everyday should begin! Caught the bus to La Santa, still pitch dark. On the drive into La Santa all you can see in the distance is the lights of the neighbouring towns at various altitudes, the mountains still obscured from view as if they were hiding on us; but there would be no hiding from them over the next few hours. Arriving at La Santa on race day is something I’ve been thinking about since April. Time to go to work.
The buzz around the stadium was epic. Checked over my bike one last time, sorted out all my fuel for the day, into the wetsuit and down to the swim start. The MC had everyone buzzing for the start. I always get nervous before the swim. Even though that’s what I’m good at I still can’t wait just to get out of the water and onto my bike.
As the sun rose, I wished Bryan McCrystal good luck. The pros got the go ahead, we were going 5 mins after them. I was expecting the pace at the start of the swim to be quick so I’d planned to go for it for the first 400m and then settle.
Countdown started and the sprint into the water began! Yeow! I quickly found myself out front with one other guy, he didn’t drop off the pace so I let him go. I led the top bunch up to the first buoy and to around the halfway point. There were around 8 of us and I was doing all the work so I dropped back and sat 3rd or 4th. The pace was comfortable, my stroke rate was lower than the guys around me so I was happy just to sit back till the end. Exiting the water I could here the Pulse crew shouting support and a few other paddies which was great. 25 minutes on the clock, bang on target.
There’s a nasty little ramp out of transition then a water station and into the stadium.
T1 was as quick as I could, no waiting around, I was thinking would Dave Adams have done it any quicker! 😉 Plenty of sun cream and off I went.
My heart rate was through the roof, it was 180 for the first 10km before it eventually dropped, didn’t feel that high so didn’t worry to much.
Climbing climbing climbing! It’s relentless. Straight from T1 to about 30km is a drag. I got passed by a few guys but not many. I was feeling good, looking forward to the flat section before the big climb so I could put my foot on the gas. That’s when I met Ullrich!
Not that Ullrich! Some other German dude. He’d passed me earlier on the drag out of Soo. I went by him like a train. Another little draggy section and he caught me again. We did this cat and mouse thing for about 15km which was cool, me drilling it on the flat and him up the drags, both of us giving each other the thumbs up as we took our turns doing the pulling. Just before the big climb of Tabayesco he unfortunately punctured on a shit stretch of road. But I saw him trying to refit another tub, best of luck to him.
Tabayesco: 10km at an average of 5.6%. Not the steepest, but long. I figured it would take me a half hour to get up it. It took me 35mins in the end. At first there weren’t many guys passing me but towards the top where it really ramps up, the skinny f***ers were coming thick and fast. Clouds came over us on the climb which was a blessing. It had an instant cooling effect. A few times the sun came out and the heat was unreal and if it kept up I was going to be in serious trouble, I was running low on water. My tri shorts were white with the salt. I could see the aid station at the top, the final 400m was like a stairway to heaven! I took one glance down the mountain. I was in awe for a split second at what I’d just climbed. If any of you come to this island, climb this sucker. You won’t be disappointed at what you see at the top.
The downhill, Dazzler territory! Any body who’s been out biking with me knows I descend like a stone. I was at full gas going down the mountain, no gears left legs spinning out so I tucked in for a bit. I could see a few guys ahead of me. Target acquired. I was gaining on them nicely but so was a white van. The van slowed down being held up by the guys I was chasing. He sat behind them for a bit and as I was flying towards him getting ready to overtake all of them, the van driver must have seen me coming up his arse fast and decided rather than pull into the side and let me by on his outside, instead he pulled out into the other lane where I was going, jammed on his brakes and drove straight for the hard shoulder on the far side of the road. I screamed as loud as I could at him to get his attention before he closed that little gap I had left in the hard shoulder on the far side of the road. Luckily he heard me and I just about squeezed by doing about 80kmh and darted back across the wrong side of the road into the correct lane. Stupid bastard could have killed me. I caught the guys I was chasing and they never seen me again. It was relatively flat from there on in and I was motoring. I arrived into Famara with the sand off the beach blowing sideways across the road, eyes and mouth closed flying across a crap stretch of road, such a rush! This race has it all! I could see another group of guys further up the road but I’d lost too much time to them on the climb. I was dying for the last town of Soo which we climbed out of at the start. Hitting this town meant it was all downhill to home. Arriving into Club La Santa I was starting to think of the run, and acutely aware that my legs were heavy.
Dismount line – instant pain, soles of my feet were on fire but I cracked on. T2 was quick, another layer of sun cream and off I went. The heat and wind were relentless on the run. It’s not a very difficult run course but there’s 4 drags per lap. Coupled with the head wind it was a slog. On the first lap my back was so stiff, legs were heavy and I had stomach cramps so I was fearing the worst. I also didn’t have my watch because I had forgotten to delete some of the history on it. The data was full so I was doing it blind. Lesson learned. Tool!!! I’d aimed to do each lap in 30mins which would give me a sub 1.30 run. After the first lap I was surprised. 33mins. It felt a lot worse so this gave me a boost. My legs came good at 10km and the second lap was the same time, so I was going ok. And to top it off I was starting to take a few guys on the run. People were dropping like flies. Several pros didn’t make it to the finish line. The heat was gruelling but there were 5 aid stations per lap which was great. Ice sponges I love you! Every time I see a sponge in the future I will be reminded of the relief they brought during that run! I had no idea of where I was in the field at this stage but I just took as many guys as I could. The support on the run was great. My race number had DAZZA written on it so it was cool hearing people cheering me on. A group of British tourists shouted, “Come on Dazza, it’s not that hot!!” I shouted back,”I know sure it’s this warm at home as well!” to which I got a good laugh out of them.
Ullrich!!! He’s back in the game, about half a lap behind me on the run. Dude fitted a new tub and got back on it. Not easy. Good on him. The final km I was running side by side with a French lad. He wasn’t in my age group but he was moving a little quicker so I stayed with him. He took 100m out of me on the last drag before the stadium and I thought he was gone but I always have a sprint finish, no matter the distance. There were 3 guys ahead of me coming into the finishing straight so I went for it. They didn’t respond and I crossed the line in full tilt. 5hrs 3mins. Passing these dudes put me 49th out of the guys, fantastic. I wasn’t even thinking about my age group spot. It’s only when I went to get my print out that I realised I’d got 3rd!!! M dot trophy on my first craic at an Ironman event!! Couldn’t believe it. Coming into the race I knew I wouldn’t be far off but I hadn’t imagined this on such a hilly course which didn’t play to my strengths. I was 5th in my age group starting the run which meant I ran 2 guys down and myself into a podium finish. To do this on my weakest discipline made it so much more special! Time to party 🙂
Cheered home Mark and Niall, great result by both guys. Special mention to Karen and Sinead for fantastic support on the day, super tri colour cheer leaders! Also to Eamonn Lawlor who was out on the bike course following me around with a Tri colour in Irish cycling gear, legend Eamo!
The 6pm allocation slot for the World Champs 2014 loomed. The roll down started. There were 2 spots in my age group. The 2 guys ahead of me had super fast times so I wouldn’t have caught either of them. Every other age group got an extra spot which sucked for me but that’s how it works, delighted for Eddie Brennan from Ireland who booked his spot to the World Champs. He had a cracking race finishing strong on the run.
I still had the awards ceremony later to look forward to and the craic on the podium!
The whole experience that night after the race was deadly. Waited for my name to be called out to collect my trophy, with the Tri colour tucked into my back pocket. And as the 1st and 2nd dudes from Belgium got awarded their trophies I whipped out the flag for the photos to a roar from the crowd! Classic. Seemed we’re loved all over the world!
The partying continued long into the night, the infamous Club La Santa disco lived up to its reputation. Kim Hickey and Liam McFadden would be proud of the amount of Jäger Bombs being lined up 🙂 And before you ask of course we were the last to leave!
So what’s next? I’m lying by the pool here writing this a very sore man and minus my favourite 2 toe nails but I can’t wait for the next race. The dream is qualifying for Mont Tremblant next year so I’ll have another crack at that in a few European 70.3 races early next year. The competitive side of me is disappointed at coming so close but I’m going home with an M Dot trophy from arguably the hardest 70.3 course around. I’m a happy boy and this smile will be around for a while.
Many thanks to everyone for the support over in Lanza and to those who helped me out with everything back home, you all know who you are.
I’ve 3 days left to get a tan, drive back to Club La Santa and find that girl who said I’ve the whitest legs she’d ever seen. Secretly I think she has a thing for pasty dudes like myself. We’re a novelty on this island!
Dazz 🙂
Some video of the event here http://www.ironman703lanzarote.com/athletes/video-and-pics.Pasty dude makes an appearance at around 28 minutes!!!